Screenplay Tips/Tricks and Personal Rants

Formatting A Script – Part 2

O.S. VERSUS V.O.

O.S. stands for OFF SCREEN.  V.O. stands for VOICEOVER.   When a character speaks, but we can’t see him in the shot, he is considered off-screen, or  O.S. So you would indicate that like this:

BILL (O.S.)
Three-quarters dead, that dog just kept right on goin.’

Note that the O.S. (and V.O.) goes in parenthesis to the RIGHT of the speaker’s name  (Bill.) It does not go UNDER the person’s name like this:

(WRONG)…

BILL
(O.S.)
Three quarters dead, that dog just kept right on goin’.

The space under the speaker’s name is reserved for parenthetical, or line-reading direction. More on that in a moment.

V.O., or VOICEOVER, is ONLY used when a character is narrating from off-screen— for example, Deckard’s much-reviled voiceover segments from “Blade Runner.” Like O.S., the V.O. designator goes to the right of the speaker’s name.

DECKARD (V.O.)
Boy, that replicant was a hottie!  But
I can’t let myself be distracted from
my, uh, mission… whatever that was.

PARENTHETICAL

Parenthetical means the line-reading cues which are placed under the speaker’s name and above the dialogue. It should be used to indicate to whom a character is speaking, if it’s not already obvious, OR occasionally, to add a new dimension to the line reading not clear from the line itself. Example:

   LEON
(to reporters)
I tried to make him fight my  fight but he made me fight his fight.

Leon abruptly keels over.

Note the placement: The speaker’s name is indented the most—just about center of the page, or five tabs over in MS Word. Parenthetical direction is indented from the dialogue, but not as far over as the speaker—four tabs in MS Word. And then the dialogue margin is the farthest left, except for the DIRECTION (Leon abruptly keels over.) More on direction below.

IMPORTANT: DO NOT OVERUSE PARENTHETICAL DIRECTION! Doing so will make your script scream “Amateur!”  Nothing is worse than opening a script and seeing parenthetical above every single line of dialogue. In general, people will be able to figure out what you were getting at simply from the line. There’s seldom a reason to embellish further. Let the actors act. Trust us, they will add all the necessary arm gestures and head gyrations. That’s what they’re paid to do. However, if the movement is short, character-centric and dramatically necessary, go ahead:

LEON
(rolls his eyes)
Oh, yeah, I made him fight my fight.

The parenthetical direction here tells us that Leon is being sarcastic. We might have figured that out just from the line, the setting and Leon’s demeanor, but we might not have. So add a little eye roll, and the meaning is clear. Another important parenthetical rule: never use parenthetical for MOVEMENT CUES, like this:

(WRONG)…

LEON
(steps over to the water cooler and takes a big
gulp, then burps loudly; smiles toothlessly)
I tried to make him fight my fight, but he made me fight his fight.

What’s happening here is that we’re directing the action, or the movement, within the parenthetical. But movement direction actually goes flush left.  Again, parenthetical direction is only for line-reading cues or to show to whom a character is speaking. The correct way to do the above example:

Leon steps over to the water cooler and takes a big gulp, then burps loudly.  He smiles toothlessly.

LEON
I tried to make him fight my fight, but he made me fight his fight.

DIRECTION

No, this isn’t what men have a hard time asking for when lost. When it comes to screenplay format, Direction means anything at all that tells the reader what’s going on in the story. It is placed at the far left border of the page, and stretches all the way across the page, like this:

INT. WAREHOUSE –NIGHT
Dark and silent.  Suddenly: CLANK of a padlock being smashed open.  Loading bay door rolls up, and FLASHLIGHTS pierce the blackness.  TWO MEN IN CHICKEN MASKS AND PINK TUTUS swish into the room.

Simple, right? Yep.

TRANSITIONS

A tricky-sounding word that just means how you get from one scene to another. These include CUT TO:, DISSOLVE TO:, FADE IN and FADE OUT, and our favorite—SMASH CUT TO: or SLAM CUT TO:

These are placed three quarters of the way across the page—not quite all the way to the far right border, but close to it. If you use screenwriting software like Final Draft or Movie Magic Screenwriter, they place the transitions in the proper place for you. Just one of the numerous advantages of using those programs!  Here’s an idea of what a transition looks like:

LEON
(to Reporters)
You’ll see.   He thinks he gonna make me fight his
fight. But  tonight, I’m making him fight my fight.

                                                                        SMASH CUT TO:

INT. BOXING RING –NIGHT

LEON’S FACE
SLAMS against the mat in a spray of blood, spittle and teeth.

See how we’ve used the SMASH CUT TO: to emphasize the gag? We go from Leon telling everyone he’s going to dominate—then SMASH CUT right to the ring, where it’s clear it just isn’t Leon’s night. We also use a SLUG LINE (see below) to tell us we’re tight on Leon as he hits the mat. In other words, we’ve told the camera what to shoot without actually saying, “CLOSE UP ON LEON.”

One question that comes up a lot is “Should I use CUT TO:between scenes?” The answer is: maybe! Many screenwriters simply don’t bother with CUT TO: anymore because frankly, you just don’t need them. It’s obvious from the new Location Slug that we’re in a new scene; we don’t need a CUT TO: to tell us we’re about to go there. It’s like saying, “get ready, I’m about to make a turn,” every time you drive. Just make the darn turn.

However, some writers still use CUT TO:, and that’s perfectly valid. Just make sure that you only use it at the end of a SCENE UNIT, not after each and every shot in a sequence. A scene unit is either a single scene or a cluster of scenes that are all related and part of the same sequence of events. Otherwise you will have a lot of CUT TO:s cluttering up your script.

However, don’t be afraid to use SMASH CUT TO: or other effects as dramatically necessary. If you feel it helps the emotion or theme of your script to DISSOLVE rain striking a puddle to the tears rolling down a distraught mother’s face, by all means do it.

I’ll be posting much more on Formatting a Screenplay, so keep checking back for those little tips and tricks that will polish your screenplay’s look.

Script Girrl

Formatting A Script – Part 1

One of the biggest problems I notice when I’m analyzing scripts professionally, is that even the scripts with plots and dialogues that shine, usually have glaring formatting errors.  Errors which will SCREAM ‘amateur’ to the Script Reader and could very well cause your script to be thrown on the slush pile – unread.

My 19 year-old nephew is a great worker and would be an asset to any employer.  But, when he applied for a job, which he was well qualified for, he wore ratty, holey jeans that hung off his ass, giving everyone a great view of his Calvin Klein Boxers, a tank top with a rock band slogan, and flip flops.  Amazingly, he was astounded that the boss didn’t look beyond his clothing and see the talented, hard-working boy inside.  Needless to say, he didn’t get the job.  In fact, he got a lecture from the boss on how to dress for an interview.

Immediately after the interview, my nephew went shopping and purchased clothes that were interview appropriate.  He tried to set up a second interview with the same boss and was turned down.  The first impression he’d given that boss had marred any chance he’d had of working for that company.

He wore his new clothes to the next job he applied for and was hired on the spot.

No matter how brilliant your screenplay is, if the formatting doesn’t look professional, your screenplay will end up unread, in the slush pile. So when you think of formatting your script, think – First Impression.  First impressions are everything if you want to get your work read, and the first impression your script will make is how it is formatted.

With that in mind, I am going to post a long series of Formatting Tips.  I will cover absolutely everything that a screenwriter needs to know to format a perfect looking screenplay.  Even seasoned writers will find some inside Industry jewels in these tips.

Let’s start from the beginning…

SCREENPLAY FORMAT TERMINOLOGY

INT. and EXT.

Short for INTERIOR and EXTERIOR. Used in Location slug lines. (I’ll cover those later.) This tells the reader whether the scene takes place inside or outside.  Example:

INT. SAM’S MOBILE HOME –NIGHT

FADE IN and FADE OUT

Used at the beginning and the ending of the screenplay (often regardless of whether or not there really is a fade in or fade out.) It’s screenwriter’s shorthand to tell people when the script is beginning and ending.  These terms can also be used in the  body of the script for emotional moments or to show a passage of time.

SHOT CALLS, CAMERA CALLS, MUSIC CALLS

A shot call, or camera call, is when someone tells the camera, or the director, what to do in the script, such as:

CLOSE UP on Bob, lighting a firecracker.

In virtually ALL cases, avoid these terms like the plague. A writer’s job is to write the story.  A director’s job to shoot it.  It’s his job to decide where to place the camera, and he will consider it an insult if you try to direct him. Camera calls in your script scream amateur.

There is a subtle way around this.  Write the action without the camera calls, and it’s a good chance that the director will figure out your intent and shoot the scene the way you imagined it:

Bob lights the firecracker.

If for some reason you feel that it is imperative to your story to direct the camera—for example, maybe Bob is desperately afraid of firecrackers, and we need to see his facial expression when he lights one, you can indicate what the camera sees using a SLUG LINE:

BOB
Lights the firecracker.

There are a few camera directions that are okay to use if employed sparingly:

CLOSE ON (or TIGHT ON) , WIDE,  and PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

CLOSE ON is for the most part unnecessary, because instead of saying:

CLOSE ON Julie, nervously twirling her hair and rocking in her seat.

You can use a slug line to do the same thing, like so:

JULIE
Nervously twirls her hair and rocks in her seat.

Pretty obvious we’re close on Julie, right?

PULL BACK TO REVEAL, is a very effective way of telling the reader we weren’t seeing the whole picture at first, but now we are. Even though it is technically a camera direction, it is an acceptable one to use.  So, feel free to use this.

MUSIC CALLS, like CAMERA CALLS, should also be avoided like the plague. For instance, let’s say you write:

BARBARA STREISAND’S “MEMORIES” plays on the stereo as Kathy flips through pages of her old yearbook.

Memories might be the perfect song you envision for your movie, but you need to think about the film’s BUDGET.  What if Streisand wants $1 million just to use a 10-second clip of “Memories” in the movie?  Music licensing is notoriously expensive, particularly from well-known artists. So avoid putting Streisand, Patsy Cline, Bob Marley, whatever, on the radio in your script. Instead, refer to a Marley song like this:

On the radio, a Jamaican singer belts out a TUNE in reggae style.

Or to your Patsy Cline tune like this:

A sad ‘classic’ COUNTRY SONG plays on the jukebox.

It’s the music supervisor’s job to plug the songs into your movie, later. If the script gets produced, you can always tell the director what songs you envisioned and ask if there is enough money in the budget to get those songs licensed for your movie.

That’s it for now!  I have a lot more to post on the subject of Formatting, so check back frequently…

Script Girrl

The year Hiatus I took, to relax and spend some quality time with my children, is about over.  On August 12th, my adorable babies will be starting Kindergarten, in an exclusive Magnet School which teaches all of the grades  from K-12.  This is a very exciting time for all of us, yet I’m also feeling a bit sad and nostalgic because they are growing up so fast.  But, I’ll have to learn to let them fly on their own.

New experiences!  New adventures!

Up until now, I have kept this blog strictly focused on the Craft of Screenwriting.  I’m changing that now.  I will still post screenwriting tips, but I am also going to start posting my personal experiences too.  Add a bit of flavor to my blog.  We can’t be all work now, can we?

Once my children are in school I will be back at work full-time as a Hospice Nurse – I’ve got to pay the bills.  In my spare time I will be hard at work on my current screenplay entitled, ‘Killing Jewels’.  This means that script tips I post, will not be done on a regular basis, but they will get posted.

I’m excited about the coming year:  Working on my screenplay;  Living vicariously through my children’s experiences; Making a difference in lives of people who are dying; and, Enjoying a full and healthy life!

Life is Rocking for me!

Script Girrl

Script Tip #7 – Use Universal Emotions In Your Screenwriting

Your life is interesting and exciting to you because you are the one living it.  You have emotional connections to the people and events you interact with, therefore those people and events strike emotional cords in you and mean something special to you.

What you want to keep in mind when writing your screenplay is that while your life may seem interesting and exciting to yourself, it will probably bore others to death.  They don’t have the same connection to your old Aunt Sally, so they won’t really care that she died in her sleep.  They didn’t live in your childhood home for 25 years, so they won’t really care that you were devastated when you had to sell it.

My point is that you should steer clear of writing a screenplay about your life. Unless of course you do something extraordinary like work as a hired killer, or as a high class call girl who only screws well-known movie stars.  You are much too close to your own experiences to write about them objectively.

On the other hand, what you should do is take an event in your life that rocked you emotionally, and weave a fictional story around that emotion.  How you ‘feel’ is universal. Use those universal emotions in your writing.

The basic Universal Emotions are…

• Joy
• Acceptance
• Fear
• Surprise
• Sadness
• Disgust
• Anger
• Anticipation

(Click on this link for a complete list of emotions.  Just reading through the list will give you tons of  emotions and spark ideas to write about).

Write about what you know, but fictionalize it and load it with universal emotion.  Then, you’ll have something that will be interesting and exciting for other people.

You want people to feel bad about your old aunt Sally dying?  Weave some fiction around her that will make them care.  Tell how she was so crippled up with arthritis that every move caused her extreme pain.  Tell how she painfully made her way to the kitchen to cook you your favorite breakfast for your birthday and accidently caught her sleeve on fire over the gas burner.  Tell how her screaming woke you up, and how you rushed to the kitchen and saw her writhing on the floor in flames.  Tell how despite your efforts, she died in your arms before the paramedics arrived.  Talk about grief, shock, and guilt!  Oy Vey!!

What about that childhood house you had to sell?   Weave some emotions and fiction around it to make people care.  Tell how the farm house and 120 acres of land have been in your family for 0ver 100 years.  Your great grandfather homesteaded that land.  Built that house.  The old graveyard out back has 100 years of your relatives in it, including your parents who were killed by a drunk driver last year.

Your 5 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer.  There is an experimental drug available that is known to completely cure this type of cancer but it is not FDA approved so your insurance won’t cover the monumental cost of the treatment for your daughter.  Not only that, but the drug is only available in Sweden and you’ll have to stay in Sweden for 6-9 months for the weekly treatments.

For the last 5 years a big corporation has offered your family a ton of money for your land.  They want to tear down the house, re-locate your dead relatives, and build a nuclear power plant.  You are a tree-hugger and despise nuclear power.  But, they are offering more money than anyone else so selling to them is the only way you’ll be able to afford the chance at a cure for your daughter.  You have no choice if you want her to live.

A bit wordy, and off-the-cuff, but you get the idea.

Write using universal emotions if you want to create a screenplay that will be interesting and exciting to other people, besides yourself.

ScriptGirrl

Recently, I came across a list of  101 movies which were chosen by the ‘Writer’s Guild West‘ as the ‘Best Movies’.  I’m posting that list here for writers who are searching for good movies to watch and analyze.

I would suggest reading the script first, if you can find it, and then watching the movie.  Look for deviations in the movie from the original script and try to figure out why those changes were made.  What was it about the script that needed to be changed so that it worked better on screen?  Then, incorporate the those kind of changes into your own scripts.

So, pour yourself an iced cold, refreshing drink; grab a nice big bowl of buttered popcorn; and plop down in that comfy recliner -  It’s Movie Time!

ScriptGirrl